Before you race to try and get your ex back, really reflect on why you two broke up to begin with. Most breakups happen for a reason but if those reasons have dissipated or enough time has passed, there could still be a chance.

However, if you’re trying to get your ex back because you’re lonely or just don’t want them to be with someone else, that is not a good enough reason to get back together.

One of the best pieces of breakup advice I can give you is to,

Focus on yourself and GET BUSY!

Have you ever noticed that when you’re distracted and moving forward with your life, that seems to be when you hear from an ex? Exactly.

Pining over them, chasing after them, playing games over social media, will not get your ex back.

The best cure for a breakup is time and space.  Leave things for a bit, get back to you and what makes you happy.  Proving to your ex and yourself that you’re willing and ready to move forward if they’re not willing to step up in your life, is the ultimate act of self-love.

As corny as it might sound, what is meant to be, will be. No form of manipulation or pushing for a speedy reconciliation will get you back together any sooner.

So what do you do in the meantime? Ask yourself, what brings you joy? What will make you happy right now (besides being with this person)? What will keep you focused on your own life until things become more clear with your ex?

Here are a few breakup “get busy” ideas:

• Grab a friend and go out to your favourite restaurant and treat yourself to that dessert you normally would avoid!
• Plan a weekend road trip with friends and get out of town!
• Join a yoga studio!
• Treat yourself to something you have been holding back on buying!
• Ask to take on a special project at work.
• Take classes or lessons i.e. a cooking classes.
• Research a cool hiking trail to try out and bring a friend along!

After you have taken some time to yourself, if this person is still on your mind it is ok to reach out. I would suggest leaving it for a few weeks or even a month before you remotely even make the attempt to contact your ex. For some, it could take years for potential reconciliation. The timing will really depend on the reasons for the breakup and the willingness on both sides to reconnect.

Call your ex or send them an email asking them how they’re doing and if they would like to catch up. Do not attempt to rehash all your old issues upon first communication. This is a chance to feel them out and their willingness to work on things.

All you can do is reach out and let whatever is meant to happen, happen. If your ex is not willing to meet you half way, the timing is either off or they’re not the right one for you.

At this point, you have done all you can do to get your ex back.

If this person is meant to be in your life, it will happen in it’s own time.

If they’re not meant to be in your life, someone else will come in for you that will want to be a part of your life!